For a leader, learning how much pressure to give in an embrace with the follower can be a difficult skill to learn. Some followers want and give a firm frame.  Other followers can dance well with just a light embrace.  The leader can not clearly communicate the lead without some resistance from the follower’s frame.  The follower needs a firm frame so as to feel connected and know the movements as led by the leader. 

A firm frame should not be confused with being stiff.  A stiff embrace between the leader and follower destroys their alignment. A stiff embrace means the muscles are clenched and movement is restricted.  Leaders should not have to grasp the followers stiffly, meaning to hold on to her tightly with his hands or arms so as to restrict her movement.

Leaders should keep their left arm as closely as possible to their shoulder.  Followers destroy the alignment when they push hard on their right arm which push leaders to their right. The leader reacts by holding the follower even tighter to keep the alignment.  The follower thinks she is being held too tight when she does not realize she is pushing the leader off balance.

A good connection comes from a mutual desire by the follower and leader to embrace each other.  The connection does not happen because just because the leader holds the follower tightly, rather it happens because they both want the connection to occur.  It is not like a handshake, but a decision to embrace and be connected as one.

The connection begins with a well connected embrace and by listening to the music.  It is not a firm embrace, but an embrace that is well connected and close without being firm.  When you make something rigid it destroys, rather than creates connection.  As a leader you can destroy the alignment of the follower with too firm an embrace.

For many followers, the leader’s embrace and touch with his hands or arms should be as light as possible. Imagine touching only her clothing with your right hand and only feeling the warmth of her hand with your left hand. The lead comes from your body center and not with your hands or arms or by pushing or pulling.

Other followers want a more firm touch in the embrace.  When leaders dance with a light or with no touch from their right arm, not all followers can understand the desired movement.  Leaders have to make adjustments for each follower, but a correct embrace will not destroy the alignment between partners.

A leader should only suggest the movement he would like to express and after the suggestion the follower will dance her interpretation of the music.  If you as a leader make all of the decisions, not allowing the follower to have a voice in the tango then your dances can not vary from one follower to another.  The leader must not force his will upon the follower in any way because if he does the follower has no voice in the dance.

You can dance Argentine Tango in closed or open embrace, the difference being the distance between you and your partner. My preference is open embrace for most partners as I am not always comfortable dancing chest to breast with a woman I don’t know very well.  Since I am almost 6’2”, I always dance open embrace with petite ladies because the physical size difference can make dancing uncomfortable for both of us.

Dancing closed embrace has advantages such being more precise in movements because you are physically closer together. Ladies are able follow easier because they can feel the leader’s movements and instantly react. Close embrace is more romantic, sensual, and emotional dancing that is often referred to as having a good connection. You can see the pleasure on the ladies faces as they dance and a good connection is highly desired by many ladies.

The advantages of open embrace are more energy and momentum created from expanding and contracting the distance between partners. Dancing open embrace usually has a livelier and more fun attitude, but it can be danced slow and sensual. It is easier for the dancers to see the foot and leg movements between the partners, but harder to execute some movements because of the distance between partners.

The embrace, whether open or closed, is a way to connect with another human being for a finite period of time. It’s like a hug, in a world where we are not hugged enough.  The embrace can transmit comfort, reassurance, affirmation or celebration. In close embrace, when you hold someone tightly and they embrace back in acceptance of you, it is a joyous feeling. No matter what is happening in your life, for those moments everything is O.K. because you have found acceptance from another human being.