In Argentine Tango classes there are many steps and variations of movements taught by some teachers to beginning and intermediate students.  Other tango teachers think students should be taught to be connected to the music first before learning more steps.  They reason that tango dancers should be inspired by the music and letting it tell them what to do rather than trying to execute a lot of fancy steps.

Some followers may believe they want or need lots of steps while dancing so it is fun for them. That’s because they have not experienced the real feeling of tango.  Some more experienced followers are not really impressed by leaders doing fancy steps.

Most leaders will only use only a fraction of the steps they have been taught in classes at milongas.  Just learning steps does not help leaders become better leaders. Learning how to embrace a woman and connect movement with the music makes a good leader.

On YouTube there are many videos with fancy steps which have little to do with the way tango is danced socially at milongas.  It is understandable if men think they need to learn more steps.  Learning steps can help them become better leaders even if they do not actually use all their vocabulary at milongas. 

There are many variations of the giro, ocho cortado, and other steps.  Discovering the many variations are fun and challenging. Eventually, leaders will pick what they like and develop their own style.  Just because a leader introduces a new step that does not mean they are not connected to their partner or to the music.

A good social tango dancer tends to have more subtle moves which are well led and conductive to maintaining connection between partners. With time and many tandas most moves can be led smoothly by an experienced leader and followed by an experienced partner so that they connect as one in the embrace. 

Most tango classes focus on step and movement variations as tango is a market driven business.  For many American tango dancers, steps are more important than the connection.  Indeed, in my own tango classes when the teacher wants to stress the basics or musically the attendance will go down.  Only time will tell if learning more steps will make us better tango dancers.  

At Saturday night’s milonga, I danced with a follower who is a regular in my tango group class.  We broke all the rules about Argentine Tango being serious business and just silently expressing yourself and the music through the dance.  No, we had a three minute conversation  about peanut butter banana sandwiches while we danced.

For snacks at the molonga, in addition to the regular wine, cheese, crackers, fruit and such, someone brought ice cream sandwiches, ice cream cups, and frozen chocolate covered bananas.  The chocolate bananas were especially good and my dance partner had just finished hers before the tanda started.

Before we even embraced, I inquired if she had a peanut butter banana sandwich.  She had not and was very interested in how to make one, so I gave her all the details.  Being originally from Europe, this was all foreign to her as they mostly just have butter with bread.  We finished the dancing the song and ended the conversation talking about how these sandwiches were Elvis Presley’s favorite and then figured out that’s why he died so young.

For those of you that do not dance Argentine Tango, the parada or sandwich is when the follower leans back with her foot out and the leader sandwiches the foot between his two feet.  It is a stop or pause for the follower, and then the leader crosses over her foot and pauses while the follower takes a step.

Also at the milonga, I had good conversations with two other leaders in our group during breaks in dancing.  Normally, when I go to a milonga, I am usually quiet, have my game face on, and just enjoy the music and dancing.  My changed attitude I believe came from all my writing about Argentine Tango, so being at a milonga was very familiar and relaxing.     

Being that this web site is about relationships and Argentine tango, I want to inquire if you are taking paradas with people to build relationships as you go about your daily life.  I’m a single guy who is comfortable being by himself, so I can go about my daily routine without having a conversation and be perfectly happy.  I need to change my ways and engage people more.

It takes effort to stop and have a conversation with someone and build a relationship.  The thing about an Argentine Tango parada is it can be quick or slow, but it is still a stop.  For example, by taking short bits of time using snippets of text on Twitter, one is able to communicate with people around the world and slowly build relationships (my Twitter name: tangoleader).  Twitter is a fun and unique way to communicate over distances, but are we building relationships with the people we see regularly in our immediate vicinity?    

Micro-blogging and blogging has me thinking more about my relationships with people I meet regularly in my daily activities.  We all lead busy lives, but are we taking a moment when opportunities arise to build our relationships with others where we live, work, and relax?  We need to do more paradas in our daily lives.                                   

Yes it does. Even the most experience tango dancers can not dance by themselves. A tango dancer can practice a movement or a short series of steps by themselves, but it looks awkward and strange and not the graceful movements when done with a partner.

Even though as a single person you are complete, having a partner can bring grace and beauty into one’s life. Several of my male friends after they were married became more focused in their career goals and just seemed to enjoy life more.

What about singles whose prospects for marriage seem lacking? They may have to work a little harder to find satisfaction in their lives without a partner to share their life and encourage them. They can find friends for encouragement and join groups of likeminded individuals in different pursuits. One can still tango, maybe not always graceful, but sometimes more enjoyable because that person had to work harder to achieve his or her goals.