In Argentine Tango classes there are many steps and variations of movements taught by some teachers to beginning and intermediate students.  Other tango teachers think students should be taught to be connected to the music first before learning more steps.  They reason that tango dancers should be inspired by the music and letting it tell them what to do rather than trying to execute a lot of fancy steps.

Some followers may believe they want or need lots of steps while dancing so it is fun for them. That’s because they have not experienced the real feeling of tango.  Some more experienced followers are not really impressed by leaders doing fancy steps.

Most leaders will only use only a fraction of the steps they have been taught in classes at milongas.  Just learning steps does not help leaders become better leaders. Learning how to embrace a woman and connect movement with the music makes a good leader.

On YouTube there are many videos with fancy steps which have little to do with the way tango is danced socially at milongas.  It is understandable if men think they need to learn more steps.  Learning steps can help them become better leaders even if they do not actually use all their vocabulary at milongas. 

There are many variations of the giro, ocho cortado, and other steps.  Discovering the many variations are fun and challenging. Eventually, leaders will pick what they like and develop their own style.  Just because a leader introduces a new step that does not mean they are not connected to their partner or to the music.

A good social tango dancer tends to have more subtle moves which are well led and conductive to maintaining connection between partners. With time and many tandas most moves can be led smoothly by an experienced leader and followed by an experienced partner so that they connect as one in the embrace. 

Most tango classes focus on step and movement variations as tango is a market driven business.  For many American tango dancers, steps are more important than the connection.  Indeed, in my own tango classes when the teacher wants to stress the basics or musically the attendance will go down.  Only time will tell if learning more steps will make us better tango dancers.  

You’re single and think there must be something wrong with you for not being married. Then you get depressed about it and withdraw from friends and family, when you need them the most. On the outside you may be functioning normally, but inside you’re dying to find love and don’t know where to begin. The choices seem overwhelming and you’re afraid they will lead to a dead end anyway, so you withdraw.

Don’t withdraw or develop destructive habits. Stay positive and engage with people in healthy activities. Get a hobby that will connect you to other people, join a professional club, gym, or go to a church. Do volunteer work regularly.

I had a battle with the single blues for many years. At work, I was fine, but then I would go home and withdraw from everyone. Because of my inactivity, I gained weight which was beginning to affect my health.

Finally, to end my withdrawn state, I starting going regularly to a non-smoking venue that gave country/western dance lessons once a week. I stumbled though the dance lessons and frustrated the instructors with my lack of coordination. The dancing began after the lesson and it took me three months to get the courage to get on the dance floor and dance with someone.

After country dancing for a while, I started learning ballroom dancing with the local ballroom association. They also offered Argentine Tango, so I started taking tango classes.  Later, I found another group that swing danced, so I joined that group.

Reconnecting with people through dance helped me to overcome the single blues. Dance helped me to regain my health and gave me a new confidence. It challenged my mind and body. There are many ways to overcome the single blues, find something that interests you.

Has marriage passed you by?  Do the wedding bells ring ding dong, ding dong for someone else, but not for you?

We have been recently dancing Argentine Tango to a Spanish song where the singer hears church bells in the distance and wonders why he doesn’t hear his own wedding bells. Since I don’t know Spanish, I’m not sure what conclusion the singer comes to and don’t even know the name of the song, but I can feel the singer’s pain.

The singer’s voice is so hauntingly clear and beautiful, so somehow he seems to accept the fact that he doesn’t have any prospects for marriage. Maybe a voice so angelic can only come from a complete and whole person in the inside that maybe doesn’t look so great on the outside. Women might not have been so attracted to him physically and he being a gentle soul never completely revealed himself.

Let the goodness in you be known to others, not in a showy way, but in a natural, unassuming way. Let your inner attractiveness come out so a potential mate can find it. We will all grow old and tired, but only your inner beauty will last. When you grow old with a marriage partner, you’ll want to look into their eyes and see the beauty within.

Yes, online dating does work, but like everything else there is a catch. There are millions of singles who have already joined online dating sites, so they are very popular and do work for some people. So, what’s the catch you ask? Finding that one special person for you takes time and effort. That’s the catch.

You have to write a great profile and post a picture. The important thing here is to be honest. Being funny and original will make your profile stand out among thousands. The picture needs to be as flattering as possible, but it needs to reflect the real you. All of these things take more time.

Each contact needs to be different and special. You need to make reference to their profiles and not just drool over their picture. You will need to answer emails that you receive and do so promptly, but not too promptly. All this takes time.

Dating web sites are about basic human interaction and friendship as well as dating. More is required than just putting a profile up to find your soul mate or lifelong partner. On a dating site you are interacting with other people.

You should think of dating sites as friendship web sites. You will be interacting with many people and maybe dating a few. Some people could be on the web site for online social interaction and not really seeking a serious relationship.

You have to be very careful when browsing profiles because some may be fake. If they seem so happy, full of life, and have such good profile pictures caution is advised. Unfortunately, there are lonely people who try to play games on other lonely people. Remember, you are not lonely or desperate, just alone, so be suspicious.

The best online dating websites allow members to interact with each other in all kinds of different ways. They may allow chat, so you can safely communicate with someone you just met online and not have to pay extra to do so.

A word to the wise, patience is the key when using dating web sites. They are a useful tool, but some profiles and pictures could be made up. When you make the first move by contacting prospects by email, you can not just use a form email. You don’t just throw one line in the water and expect a miracle. It is not that easy.

Prepare yourself for the reality that you may never find a serious relationship on a dating website. You may go on a date, but rarely have a second date with someone. It will be even rarer to go out with someone for more than a few weeks.

Dating sites give a lot of people power over others they normally would not have.  They can see your profile, picture, and make correct assumptions about you without even meeting. Not everyone online wants a lasting relationship and maybe all they want to do is date different people, but that is something few people will ever admit.

If you are ready for the challenges of online dating, here are some recommended web sites:

Friendfinder

Matchmaker

Lavalife

SinglesNet

Chemistry

Match

eHarmony

Tango dancers often think that the great divide in tango dancing is in the styles, but it may be in the musicality. Good musicality connects the dancers and even connects dancers to the onlookers. No matter your tango taste, whether open embrace, closed embrace, tango nuevo or other styles, good musicality is important.  Regardless of the style, dancers become connected by interpreting and enjoying the tango music in that moment.

Many tango teachers and dancers think that musicality and connectivity can not really be separated.  Followers often gravitate to dancing with partners who have good musicality regardless of their level of knowledge of steps and movements.  They enjoy the tanda more when the partner appreciates and keeps time with the music.

Some teachers emphasize musicality in their teaching.  Other tango teachers ignore the musicality, but teach the basic patterns or movements.  Those students who seek musicality will eventually gravitate to the teachers who teach this as a fundamental. 

Teachers who have good musicality often encourage improvisation and natural musicality in their students.  Musicality adds enjoyment to the dance and helps tango students to feel their tango dancing is developing quickly.

Some beginning tango students have more of a talent for musicality than for connection.  Connection comes in different forms. There is the physical connection like the embrace and the emotional connection. The latter is not really possible to teach, but it is related to musicality.

No matter how good the embrace, if the musicality is poor many think there is not real emotional connectivity.  Some teachers emphasize musicality very early on in their teaching. Many tango students like this approach if they have considerable dance experience before starting Argentine Tango and have well developed musicality.

For leaders, learning musicality helps them to get over the awkwardness of leading.  It becomes so much easier to communicate through steps and movements when the partners are connected by their musicality.

Good leaders give the followers a chance to express themselves. They give the follower a chance to play, but not every follower is comfortable expressing herself and does not take the opportunity.  Both partners should be free to express themselves and their unique musicality.

When a leader has a good appreciation of the music then it is a pleasure for the follower to dance with them regardless the degree of complexity in their steps.  For many followers, musicality is the key to connectivity.  For a follower, apprehension turns to enthusiasm after accepting to dance a tanda with a new leader and then discovering his good musicality.