A Single Guy Dances Tango

More Than Dance... Life Dances

Archive for the ‘Relationships’

Age Spreads in Relationships

Sometimes two individuals with wide age differences are attracted to each other in a relationship.  It depends on the individuals whether they can bridge the age gap by having things in common.  There are many factors evolved that allow a relationship to succeed.  An age difference is often negligible compared to their compatibility in maturity and place in life. While it is easier to date someone closer to your own age, it really depends on the individual.

 

There are a lot of reasons why couples of different ages are attracted to each other.  A person may feel they are unable to relate to their peers because of having different interests in activities, books, music, art or films.  Maybe they are not ready to settle down, get married, and have a family; relationships for them are about having fun and shared adventures.  For example, a young woman might enjoy pairing up with an older man who has completed fathering kids or who has decided to never have them at all.

 

Conflicts can arise when couples of differing ages are in a relationship bond.  One partner can make impossible demands on the other and now their attitudes toward each other are affected.  Though someone may love you, there are things in life beyond a person’s control and now you feel betrayed because they can not live up to their commitment to you.  You should examine your attitude and beliefs and get back into harmony with your partner.   

 

The age difference is often magnified over time if the couple remains in a committed relationship or takes the oath of marriage.  Some things are beyond their control such as the differing rates at which each individual age, their changing life stages, and their health.  The younger partner may feels like their whole life is before them and the older one like it is coming to a end. One person can be ready for parenthood while their partner maybe ready for retirement.

 

Being in a different place in life can happen even to couples of the same age.  One of the partners may have unrealistic expectations about the relationship and how it should be based on their preferences.  That partner feels betrayed when circumstances and their partner do not turn out as expected or the other partner ages in a way that they do not like. The partner that has cast judgment on the other has betrayed themselves into thinking they have a right to demand change in the latter.  

 

Trying to control the relationship and make the other person into someone they are not just does not work.  It is an incredibly unrealistic way of approaching a relationship.  We often can not often control our own life, much less that of another person.  As we age, our true selves are revealed more and more which comes from who we really are and our life experiences.  Someone should not have to deny themselves, their own desires, and own life path just to make us happy.

 

We all age eventually, but someone can stay in excellent health longer if the take good care of themselves and have an adventurous, optimistic outlook on life.  When one partner’s health fails, it falls upon the other partner to care and look after them.  It is a role the healthy partner may reluctantly assume if they are significantly younger and more in the prime of their life.  The younger partner, in years to come, might have to give up some things to take care of their life partner.

 

Two individuals in a committed relationship with wide age differences can live a happy life together.  Like all relationships, they will have their moments, but it is possible to be very happy together if they remain each others best friend.  Sharing experiences from two different age perspectives can be a rewarding and fulfilling relationship bond.  When the health of the older partner deteriorates, the younger partner needs to be prepared to take care of them until they die.  This is usually the final reality of age spreads in relationships.